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| NAME: |
Ali G, hobviously. |
DATE OFF BIRF: |
197?
Me woz born in da heart off da Staines ghetto. |
HADDRESS: |
Me Nans (it iz too dangerous for me to say more dan dis)
I has lived wiv me Nan in Staines at 37 Cherry Blossom Close from da day me woz born, coz wiv both me parents havin been smoked, dere werent no one else around to look afta her. Me has been carin for her ever since |
HEDUCATION: |
Englefield Green Playgroup (1979 - 87), Da Matthew Arnold Skool (1988 - 91)
Me woz failed by da skool system and hated every minute me spent in da classroom. In fact added together, dat time woz probly da most borin 3 hours of me life - altho me do still go to a skool re-union every second Monday at Staines Job Centre... (Dese wordz iz nicked from me book coz me couldn't be bovvered finkin off anyfin new to say) |
QUALIFIKATIONS: |
3 'E' levels (all grade O), GNVQ Food Hygene.
(I iz also qualified for free membaship to da Trocadero in Pickadilly Square). |
HOCCUPATIONZ: |
As well as bein unemployed - i iz also got a lot off well important careers: |
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GANSTA
As head of Da West Staines Massive, me control da most peace lovin and violent gang in da hole of Barkshire... |
FAVOURITE
COLOUR: |
Yello |
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TELLY PRESENTA
Afta happearin on some crap programme dat woz on at 11 a clock or somefin, it werent long before me ad me own show. Dis meant me was able to take a in depf look at a lot off serious issues.... |
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I iz now easily da most respekted face on Brittish telly and it iz probably only a matter off time before me get offered me own slot on Channel 5 - or hopefully even cable... |
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DJ / RAPPER
By now u must all ave eard off me legendary Speed Garage all-niters dat take place at da Crooked Billet, Staines, between 7 and 11 pm every second Tuesday. Dey iz now so popular dat on some nights no-one hactually turns up coz everyone finks dey won't be |
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AUFOR
Check dis - I iz just read me very first book. It iz called Da Gop... Da Gospel... Da Gospel Acc... somefin or ovver... to Ali G. It iz full off well integlient hadvice on everyfin and also loads of quality muff... |
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DEALA
I aint hadmittin to nuffink in dis area (for a personal denial call me on 07903 909762 and me'll deliver it to u). |
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BIO of ali g
i is not got bio i dont smell u iz disrespectin me u iz can fu*&k off now go on booyskaka
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